9 posts tagged “bummed”
Well, I'm officially making pizzas at Funstation now. Exactly like working concessions at AMC, which blew dick. We'll see how long I hold out before I'm absolutely tired of it. I'm already pretty close after just a four hour shift today. Hopefully the whole money thing will soften the pain come payday.
One nice thing though: its easy as shit. Three days in and I'll be closing by myself. Okay, sure.
On a different note, I recently looked back on all the art I did this year... I feel like I worked my ass off, but I'd probably disown 90% of the stuff I made. What the heck. Kind of put me in a mood.
Jon and his girl Dareen passed through town yesterday and today; went to the Ale House and Momo's and out for coffee, now I don't have any grocery money. Again. Totally worth it though, I've been so bored this last week.
Haven't really been in much of a blogging mood lately... here's a cameraphone dump ranging back from late October.
Dan and his roommates got in a fight over rent today so he moved his stuff out a few days early, spent most of the day helping with that. Done with two classes now; cleaned out my stuff in the silkscreen lab. Dan's friend Jim came down and then lots of running around between school and the warehouse and Dan and me and Kristen's places. Coffee and cigarettes at Emmy's. Kind of a long day, went by in a blur, though.
Came home and Mitch told me that Rich, my favorite manager from back at the Bistro, had a heart attack and had died in his sleep today. One of the most genuinely nice people I've ever met. *sigh*
Sat down and thought of this song, I'd been listening to it at home over the break. Feeling weird, lots of things ending and nearing ends today.
Fucking school. I am really just being stretched all out lately... I feel like I have no free time, and what little I do have I am wasting on stupid shit, and I've been broke as shit for the last week now. Well, I mean, okay, it's all better than that (except the money) but I feel so much pressure and I feel like I keep having little failures... ugh. I blame the BFA thing, but I'm really honestly not as worried about it as I was the last time, though, so just imagine how I felt then. I keep saying I don't care at all, but I really would like to get accepted. Thing is the odds are completely against me - there's probably nearly 50 other kids trying out, and I'm fairly sure there aren't too many slots open this time around.
bleh... off to school. Slept through my first class today, I should make an effort to go to my others, eh?
LATER THAT NIGHT: okay, so I meant to make this a friends-only type post, but its not as whiny as I thought it was at the time, anyway, so I guess I'll leave it, probably too late anyways. I turned in the BFA application today at school, talked to a couple teachers, I think I'm gonna have some fun, just have a good experience with it or whatever. I've decided that having a goal to work towards is better than just sitting on my ass all day anyway, so I definitely condsider my efforts time well spent, regardless of the outcome.
and here's something a little more upbeat to level everything out here:
Man, what the hell. The ASL party changed locations due to "parking problems" and is now suddenly going to be 21+ to enter.
Why.
Why.
Why.
Now what the fuck are Hailey and I gonna do? She doesn't turn 21 until February. Fuuuuuuuck... I was really looking forward to this and then they pull this crap the night before the party? Wow. Lame.
well, back to the woodshed for me.
My first BFA pre-review thing went pretty smoothly, I was a little nervous going in, but I didn't leave feeling overwhelmed or vastly underprepared. I actually left feeling kind of pumped - so pumped, in fact, I went home and cranked out a stencil for the first time in, like, two years. And my first two-color one, no less! I'm proud of how it turned out, the stencil patterns started out digital, but due to the quality of the original image, a good majority of the final design ended up having to do be re-done freehand on the printouts.
Was going to go to a fundraiser party for the art student's league last night, but my date cancelled on me, and I decided not to go by myself. I ended up just getting bummed out and watching Rocky Balboa with Russ and Andrea. Aside from not having a date, I was bummed because I got to thinking about how I feel really disconnected from the art scene at school, and how it's mostly my fault for being so anti-social. I don't have a lot of friends in the art program, and my roomates are usually my social buffer/comfort zone but they aren't art-savvy at all, so I don't like dragging them out to artsy functions (for both parties' sakes). This basically means that when it comes to art-kid parties and events I usually sit around the house debating whether or not to go, then freak out in a nervous fit, and stay up all night watching TV instead, OR if I do decide to go, I arrive feeling sick to my stomach and wander around aimlessly by myself, don't talk to anyone unless spoken to, and leave early.
I blame my mother, I think her tendency to worry and her fear of crowds must be hereditary. For a while during my last two years in high school she wouldn't even leave the house, I'm getting to where I can relate. But I'm making social interaction part of my HARD WORK IS MY NINJA WAY self-improvement plan, which includes things like: improve my study habits, get better sleep, make more art more often, etc.
The landlord came by the other day to get a quote on installing a security system here. Probably not a moment too soon.
ALSO: hardcore Sahara marathon !
(Get ready, here comes a lot of bitching.)
ONE THING THAT SUCKS: Yesterday, I've pulled an all nighter and gone to work, and I'm driving home pissed and tired, when I get a call from Geico about my car accident last week. After I answer some questions the Geico guy informs me that I'm at fault (though the police report says "shared fault", wtf) and I'll be paying for the girl's repairs (read: buffing some scratches out) and that because of this my rates will be going up. Great. Awesome. But the crappy story doesn't end there, nooo - during my talk with Geico, my call waiting is going off, but I don't answer because I'm driving (haha, a driving hazard - ironic, right?) and because I consider it a pretty important call. I check my messages once I get home, and its the girl. "Hey, I called your insurance but then I thought maybe I should call you and see if you wanted to pay for the repairs without calling them instead". I call her back (to yell at the dumb bitch for fucking me over) but her phone is off (not ten minutes after she called me).
WTF I HATE YOU aararararrararrrghghh
But Mom and I talked it over and I'm going to just let the parents handle it, because it's all a bit over my head, never having been in an accident / dealt with insurance before.
SECOND THING THAT SUCKS: I think the fleas from the tenants before us are coming back with the warm weather, my legs are covered in bites. Since I've apparently got the room the dog slept in, I'm the only person to get them so far ...which sucks, but also gives me the chance to exterminate them all before they spread to the rest of the house. I washed all my sheets, scrubbed my legs down, sprayed my room with Raid, and vacuumed today, hopefully that'll do the trick. Otherwise I guess I'll have to call the landlord to send an exterminator again like last time.
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Less bitchy news:
Took the bike to the shop down the street, should only cost me around 70 bucks for a overhaul/cleaning and new wheels, and be ready by Friday afternoon. I'm very excited about this, even though I will be broke again afterwards.
I brought my big goodwill stereo - minus the cabinet and turntable - into my room and am using it as a keyboard amp, with one of the speakers in front of the other to create a platform for the cassette deck/equalizer combo thing. Now I don't have to switch everything in the room around when I want to play my synth and since I'm not using my computer speakers I can play along with phat Rebirth beats from the PC. And if there's one thing the Beastie Boys have tought me, nothing sounds quite like an eight oh eight, so that's fun.
Russ got his new longboard and we rode it around a bunch today. We're planning on going to school and bombing the inclines in the empty parking garages while everyone is away for spring break.
ah, way past time for bed...
GOD WHY DID I SIGN UP TO WORK ALL WEEK
Got in a little car accident today on my way to school. Nothing major, but if the chick calls my insurance company to fix the scratches on her car (mine made it out worse than hers, but she seemed really pissed) my premiums will probably go up. I'll probably end up paying for them if they do, too. Oh well... I was more worried about Dad's reaction, but he actually seemed to take the news pretty well when I called him. He did tell me a while back that he only cared that the car ran and that it could get me around safely, and not about it's cosmetic condition... I guess he meant it? We'll see for real on Thursday when I go back home.
Felt a little "out of it" all day, I've never been in an accident with another person while I was driving... I guess it shook me up a little more than I realize.
I got a dollar in the mail today! Mine to keep regardless of whether or not I complete the accompanying survey. Woo~
Bummed out lately (aside from the surprise mail dollar), what with Valentine's Day approaching and all. I'm not gonna get all whiny here, but I need a girlfriend, and it's my own fault I don't have one (I am a pussy). But one: I'm broke, and two: I've always sort of thought of Valentines Day as being a big scam run by the diamond, chocolate, and flowers industries anyway. It's not like Mother's Day, which is later matched by Father's Day, so at least there's special (though not necessarily equal) attention paid to both sexes. Valentine' s Day is basically extortion, paid in giant teddy bears and novelty balloons.
Not to say I don't wish I was in some sort of relationship, though. I am a lonely son of a bitch.
